1 month waiting - and going to Japan soon!

Today is our official 1 month of waiting on ASIA's waiting list. Sounds silly, but it's nice to now be able to measure our wait in months. Feels like we're getting somewhere.

In other news, Chris and I are going to Japan in a week and a half! We will be there for a week, and I'm super super excited!!! There are a lot of Taiwanese restaurants in Tokyo, which I think is really cool. I'm sure I'll have fun shopping, too. It may be hard to find food without fish (Chris and I AND my sister and her husband who are going, too, are all vegetarians), but I'm going to print out a lot of terms and sentences in Japanese that will be useful, which I can just show to the people at the restaurants. Can't wait!!!

Taiwan Fun Fact #3 - Chinese Taipei Medal Count

Just an update on the Olympics - Taiwan (aka Chinese Taipei) has won 4 medals so far! 2 bronze medals in Women's weightlifting, and 2 bronze medals in Men's Taekwondo (both of these sports have multiple weight classes of course). Unfortunately I haven't see any of these on TV.

ASIA puts hold on new applications

I just happened to be looking at ASIA's (our agency) website today, and noticed that they have the following notice up on their Taiwan page:

"NOTICE: It appears that the wait for healthy Taiwanese infants is growing longer and it is difficult to predict how it will change over the next months. The situation is very fluid and could slow down further or speed up, depending upon a number of circumstances. Effective August 3, 2008, ASIA has put a temporary hold to accept further applications for the Taiwan newborn to two year old program. This is due to an increasing list of families in line to submit their home studies to Taiwan. This does not impact families already in process. If you are interested in applying, I recommend you check in with the office on a regular basis to see when we will reopen this particular program. We will also post a notice on our website when we reopen. If you want to be notified by email, please email tonif@asiadopt.org . As of August 11th, the following Taiwan programs are still accepting applicants:Children 2-5 years old with minor special needs, Healthy children 5 years and older, Waiting Children of any age "


Interesting, no? Looks like we got in line just in time.......

Moving up the list!

We found out that we have advanced one place on our agency's list! Instead of being #6, where we started, we are now #5! This is because someone further up on the list has accepted the referral of an older child and is no longer in line. We are very happy for the family (whoever they are!) who will be getting their child in the near future, and very happy that we are one spot closer to our own child :)

Taiwan Fun Fact #2 - Taiwan in the Olympics

For those who don't know, Taiwan does indeed participate in the Olympics under a separate name from China. You will find them participating under "Chinese Taipei". I'm sure they would prefer to use "Republic of China" but that definitely wouldn't fly with the mainland. So keep an eye out for the Chinese Taipei teams! In 2004 Taiwan took home its first 2 gold medals - both in Taekwondo. I've heard that baseball and archery are also their strong suits.
Go Chinese Taipei!

Adoption Info #1 - Adoption Language

Adoption Language

Adoption is an interesting thing. Everyone knows a little bit about it, but relatively few know a great deal. I am definitely still learning. One thing that you learn early on in the game is that often the uninformed don't use the best terminology, and that can be taken as offensive or at least insensitive. To help out those who don't know much about the lingo, I'm posting a list of not-so-good terms and terms that could be used instead. I'll try to explain why when it is unclear.

Not-so-good Terms:

--"Real Parent/Mother/Family". This might come up in a question such as "Why couldn't her real mother keep her?" To suggest that the parents who adopt the child are not truly the child's parents can be really hurtful - not just to the parents, but to the child as well. A real parent isn't necessarily the person who gives birth to you or gives you genetic material - a real parent is the person who loves you and (ahem) parents you. The preferable term to use in this situation would be "Birth Parent/Mother/Family".

--"Natural Parent/Mother/Family". Very similar to the last term, this could come up in questions: "Are you her natural mother?" It does beg the question: what is an unnatural mother? Kind of creepy. In these cases, the term "Biological Parent/Mother/Family" would be preferable.

--"Adopted child" vs. "Own child". This could come up when you are being introduced to someone new: "This is Amber and Chris. They have an adopted daughter, and a daughter of their own." Or in the form of questions: "I know you want an adopted child, but don't you want one of your own, too?" To suggest that only one's biological children are one's "own" is a hurtful thing. One's children are one's children - how they came to join the family should be irrelevant. You may find this distinction in magazine articles about famous adoptive couples - the press is always quick to point out which children are adopted and which ones are "their own". To be polite, one should simply refer to them as "their children". If one really needs to differentiate, one could use the term "biological children" and "adopted children".

--"Is Adopted". This one may seem subtle, but it makes sense. To say "My sister IS adopted" is to label her, to place a stigma on her for the rest of her life. To say she "WAS adopted" just tells the world about her past history.

--"Adoptive Parent". This is similar to the "Own child" discussion above. It is unnecessary (in most cases) to say "Amber and Chris are the adoptive parents of an infant girl". Although there is no shame at all in adopting (I don't want to suggest that there is or that we will in any way try to hide the fact our child was adopted), the world doesn't need to constantly be reminded that that's how our family was created. (The fact that she will look different from us will be enough for most people) Simply saying "parents" in this case would work quite nicely. Besides, does a child want "adoptive parents" or do they just want "parents"? All kids need plain old parents.

There are many more right/wrong terms that come up, but I'll stick to the above ones for now, as I feel they are the most important. As a general rule of thumb, it's best just to think sensitively, and pay attention to what connotations your words may have that you don't even intend. Between adults it may not be a big deal, but when you are talking to (or in the presence of) a little child it can hurt feelings and self-esteem.

As a side note, there are also some initials that are used in adoption which may be unfamiliar, so I'll touch on those as well:

SN = special needs. This would refer to any child with medical/emotional/cognitive issues which might require extra attention.

NSN = non-special needs. This would refer to any child who has no known issues.

AP = adoptive parent.

PAP = prospective adoptive parent.

CY = Chung Yi. This is the name of the orphanage our adoption agency works with for the placement of children.

ASIA = Associated Services for International Adoption. This is the name of our adoption agency.